Serenity
by shanelover89
Summary: After Jamie dies, Landon faces many obstacles. What will life bring him in this story of finding your inner serenity? This is my first fic, so no flames! Please R and R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to AWTR and never will (sadly). The only thing I own are the characters that come in later...you'll see.

A/N: This is my first fic, so please don't flame. Just tell me if it's good or bad or whatever. Enjoy!

Serenity

As I lay in the cold bed, covered with crisp, white sheets, I know it's almost my time. I can feel it deep inside myself. I begin reminiscing...reminiscing about my life after Jamie...the last sixty years.

_After Jamie had died, for a short time I felt anger and hate. After that, misery. That feeling lasted a lot longer. But it's not like I expected it to go away immediately or anything. Not having her with me was...unbearable. However, I still went to my daily classes and eventually made my way into medical school four years later. My parents really deserved a lot of credit for all of my successes. They kept me going even when I was in my biggest despair; when I hit my all-time low._

_While I was in med school, I met a girl named Sarah. She was also studying to be an oncologist, however, for a different reason. Her father had died the previous year from lung cancer. It took me awhile to warm up to her and to give her my trust_ཤྭ _she reminded me so much of Jamie. Her deep brown eyes, her contagious laugh, even her strong faith. I could tell that Sarah wanted to be romantically involved with me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her my story. I knew it was going to be so painful. But one day in the middle of June, I finally did it. I pushed back all of my fears and just told her._

I hear someone walk into the room, but I have no energy to look up and see who. Then, I hear a voice. "Landon, honey, it's me." 'Sarah.'

_That's right. We got together...and seven months later, we were married. It took a lot of strength for me to give Hegbert back my ring, but I thought that someone else should have it_ཤྭ _anyone besides me. The look on his face made me ashamed, and made me want to cry out, "It's her fault! She's the one who made me promise to find someone else!" And it was true. Jamie and I'd been sitting in our hammock in the backyard one evening when she'd told me to. At first, I was a bit taken back. But honestly, who wouldn't have been? She told me that she couldn't stand the thought of me being alone for the rest of my life, so she made me promise her that after she'd gone and I'd had time to heal, I would fall in love again. A bit flustered, I'd agreed. I really don't know why. Maybe it's because I would've done anything for her._

_Two years later, Sarah got pregnant. When we found out that it was a girl, I knew what I had to do. We had to name the baby after Jamie...my Jamie._

_The day that Sarah delivered was one that I will never forget. God, I was so nervous. We were having a barbecue on a Sunday after church when her water broke. My heart was probably beating so loud that anyone walking down our front sidewalk could have heard it. But Sarah...Sarah seemed so calm, so at ease, so ready. I, on the other hand, didn't even know if I was doing a good job as a husband, and I really didn't want to know if I was going to make a good father...I thought. But when they handed that baby to me, I couldn't help but smile. She was perfect, just like the first Jamie Elizabeth._

_After Jamie, Sarah and I had two more children_ཤྭ _a boy and a girl_ཤྭ _named Hannah and Tyler. And I know it sounds awful, but as much as I loved them, I loved Jamie even more. And not because she was any prettier or any smarter, but for the plain and simple fact that she reminded me so much of her namesake. And as she got older, that reminder grew even stronger._

_A couple years later, I remember coming home from a long shift at the hospital and Tyler running up to me. He asked me if it was true that I had been married before I was married to Mommy. I recall my feelings after that question had registered itself in my brain, and they were anything but nice. I asked him who had told him that_ཤྭ _I knew for sure Sarah hadn't told him_ཤྭ _and he answered, "Grandma." I was not happy. Oh, let's face it. I was beyond mad that my mother had shared this information with my children without my consent. I remember the long phone conversation we had that night (and well into the morning), and eventually I forgave my mother, but it did take some time. Jamie did ask me to see a picture of my "first wife", and as much as I didn't want her to see how close of a resemblance she had to my Jamie, I showed her anyway. She was blown away, to say the least, and I remember her crying on my shoulder after I told her the story of how her namesake had died. But who could blame her..._

_At Sarah's and my 50th wedding anniversary, I couldn't concentrate on anything. The only thought that consumed my mind was that it would have been Jamie's and my 56th. I'd felt so guilty, like the thoughts I was having were causing me to be unfaithful to my wife...although I wasn't even sure which wife I was being unfaithful to. That fact that I'd married Sarah was starting to get to me...but don't get me wrong, I loved her with all of my heart. People talk about a mid-life crisis_ཤྭ _well, I think I had a late-life crisis. Thankfully, soon enough I got back to thinking about the present instead of the past._

That was ten years agoཤྭ when I still felt young and full of life. Nowadays, however, I feel weak and like I wouldn't mind if my life ended very soon. I look over at Sarah, who is sitting in the chair adjacent from my bed and talking on the phone. From the tone of her voice, I know she's talking to the kids. I can tell she doesn't have much hope, and she wants them to be here as soon as possible. I can't blame her, though. I'm dying. Not from anything in particular, just my age and the damage that life has done. I close my eyes for what seems like only a moment, and when I open them back up, I realize it had to be longer than that. All of my family is standing around my bed, and everyone is crying softly. When Jamie sees that I'm awake, she leans over and begins to sob into my chest.

"Oh, Daddy, I love you so much. We just want you to know, it's okay. You can go, and we'll make it along just fine here without you here."

That's exactly what I needed to hear. I needed my family's promise that they would be okay without me. And although I know they don't want me to go, I now feel at ease with leaving. I let my body wind down, and I feel myself floating. I look down, and I can see my earthly body still lying on the cold hospital bed, and my family all has their arms wrapped around me.

I stop suddenly, and look around. That's when I see her. Jamie. She is smiling that famous smile and she looks just as I remember her. Her soft, auburn locks are flowing free around her glowing, angelic face, and she is walking towards me. I stand still, in complete awe. When she finally makes it to me, I instinctively wrap my arms around her lithe form, and plunge my face into her hair. I hear her sigh and I look up. She's smiling. I go on to tell her how much I've missed her, how alone I felt at first, but before I can get one word out, she presses two fingers to my lips.

I know." We kiss, a kiss making up for sixty years of time. When we pull away, I smile.

"I kept my promise."

"I know, and you don't know how happy it made me to see you with a family." She takes hold of my hand and she leads me over a few steps, where other loved ones are standing. They have obviously been waiting for me with Jamie. I give my mom and dad hugs, and make my way over to Hegbert. We smile at each other, and I can tell he's happy I've made it here. I notice a woman whom I've never seen. Well, no, she actually looks very familiar, but I can't remember where from. I look Jamie's way, questioning her with my eyes, and she smiles.

"Landon, I'd like you to meet my mother..."


	2. Author's Note

Dear Readers,

I am extremely sorry for any confusion in this story. A lot of you seem to think that this was going to be a chapter story. That is not the case. I never had any intention of making this anything but a one-shot. So again, I am very sorry for making you all think that I was going to add to it. However, I will soon be adding a couple more stories to my name and would appreciate it very much if you would read and review them. I love you all.

- shanelover89


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